Independence Day: Resurgence

One word: DON'T.

Oh wow, was this ever bad. I didn't know it was possible to be bored watching a movie about aliens destroying Earth.

But. So. Bored.

Fortunately, there was a timer in the movie so I had some idea about how much longer it would be.

And I'm not usually one to argue science in movies because "the script said so" is usually a good reason for anything to happen. But if your big scary thing is an alien drilling a mile-wide hole all the way to Earth's core (or less than one minute from all-the-way) in the middle of the ocean, and then the ocean doesn't drain into that void? Wow, major oversight. 

But kudos to the writer/s for setting up for the next sequel so clearly that it is impossible to ignore. 

I'd like to say the special effects were good but, meh, I feel like I've seen it all before. 

And one other thing that irked me: a character who's gone slightly bonkers (you know this because of his unkempt beard) then decides to be heroic and fly the suicide mission (all this crazy new tech and no one has drones?) so the first thing he does is shave his beard? That's how you know he's serious about being a hero.

Also, lots of death, but the most-focused in death is a minor character that really contributes nothing but some orchids. 

Don't waste your time or money. Watch the first one again instead.

Rating: 0.5 out of 5 Mean Girls, but only for that one joke about getting all the monuments

X-Men: Apolocalypse

Right up front: I like superhero movies. Shocker.

I haven't/don't read comic books. It's not that I have anything against them; there's just too much history and backstory at this point so it doesn't feel worth it to start reading now. (That's what Wikipedia is for, anyway, the backstory condensed.) I'm sticking with the movies and occasional TV show.

But geez this was one of those *yawn* of a movies. I'm not sure there's really much tension if no one is genuinely at risk in these fight-for-the-fate-of-the-world movies. All the main characters come through unscathed and unchanged, except for the random hairstyle change. Looking at you, Professor. 

I really wanted to like this episode of angst-y teenagers with random superpowers and their oddly-aged adult cohorts. It's a good cast of actors and everyone does a good job. But here's my random thought: the X-Men powered people rarely interact outside of their little group. It's powered against powered against powered. Even the big destroy-the-world scenes did little more than show cities falling apart but I didn't connect to the citizens. At least the regular Marvel universe movies throw in non-powered military and government entities to connect to the real world. 

I can't think off the top of my head of anything terrible about "X-Men: Apocalypse." Maybe one quibble is the odd (to me, non-comic book reader) intro to Storm. Thankfully the theater where I saw it had a pre-roll "Thanks for watching" with the actress who plays Storm and named her character in the lower third—that's the name tag area under a talking head. I learned that from when I worked for a TV station.

Rating: 2 out of 5 Mean Girls

The Nice Guys

Oh. Heck. Yes. Loved it. I saw it twice in the theater. It's just fun. I love seeing Russel Crowe and Ryan Gosling play off each other. And even the precocious kid that would normally annoy me was a nice addition to the cast. Actually all the kids were fine.

It takes place in the 70's, just slightly before I would have been aware of the world but the 80's weren't really much different. Just different clothes. And I think I could relate a bit to the kids in the movie. I mean, not that my dad was a raging drunk who I drove around or that he and his buddy were investigating missing porn stars. It's more the feeling of freedom, of not being tied to electronics, of home phones and riding in the back of cars without your seatbelt. And we all survived. Mostly.

There's fun action, good fights and lots of really excellent dialogue. A sheer pleasure watching a nine-year-old girl ask the guy who beat up (sucker punched) her father to beat up her friend Janet (she's really tall and very annoying) while dad tries to deflect with apple pie. And for a movie with missing porn stars, there's very little sexual nudity.

I look forward to this coming out on DVD and will most likely add it to my collection for winter movie marathons that start with "Clueless."

Rating: 5 out of 5 Mean Girls

Aloha, Hawaii!

I had the amazing opportunity this year to spend a week in Hawaii with a group of friends and it was probably one of my favorite trips. I'm not really that well-traveled, but I've been a few places and so, yes, that makes me qualified to comment on Hawaii.

Side bar: does anyone remember how in the 70's and 80's, Hawaii was THE ultimate in dream vacations? And then it seems like Hawaii vanished from the vacations list? Or maybe that's just my perception because I stopped watching Brady Bunch reruns.

To give some perspective, first I drove across the country to Las Vegas and then hopped a flight to Kailua-Kona on the Big Island. So I was exhausted by the time I got to Hawaii and really needed a nap. What followed was a week of sunny and humid weather, drinking tropical drinks, going to a luau, watching sunsets, touring volcanoes, trying coffee and beer and just relaxing and lounging and soaking up the good company.

I would SO much go back. The beaches are so peaceful and beautiful, but not a lot of "traditional" sandy beaches I'm used to, except when we went to Hapuna Beach, and then there are black sand beaches! They're so different and cool. But the black sand wasn't very soft. So really, the relaxing part of Hawaii is just soaking up the heat and the sun and the clean air. And eating good food. And being with friends and/or family.

Rating: 5 out of 5 Awesomes

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

So let's just skip introductions and jump right into the review. Okay, not so much review but reaction.

One thing you need to know about me, though, is that I detest robots with emotions. I knew this going into the movie. I've known it since I saw the first of the Star Wars prequels with all the armies of droids.

Robots-with-emotions seems like the very worst of ideas. What kind of developer wants robots, especially battle droids, to be scared? (And, because I'm full of contradictions, I'm perfectly okay with C3PO being emotional but I can justify that by saying C3PO is a protocol droid and programmed to interact with humans and aliens in a non-threatening and helpful way.)

So going into TFA, I was not excited for the new cute little droid, BB-8. Almost all of the decisions by characters in the movie are because of choices made by emotional robots. Frankly, I'd argue that the biggest part of the movie is necessary because one robot is DEPRESSED! So infuriating. 

But on the whole, a decent movie. The action is fun and exciting. And plenty of callbacks and fan service to the original "good" movie.

I say you should see it. Why not? I probably could have waited for it to come on TV, which may have mitigated my emo-droid hatred. But I saw it in both 2-D and 3-D and only mildly disliked it. (The second viewing was just to keep a friend company since he was the only one left who hadn't seen it. I'm a good friend.)

Rating: 2 out of 5 Mean Girls